Late Morning

I didn't even get out of the bed today until noon. No real reason. Didn't really feel the need to get up. Wasn't really anything to do. I could have been working. Since I had no job to go to, I just didn't get up. THe kids slept in, so I did to. My husband was home since it was Saturday, but since he was still in his somber mood, I really didn't want to see him either.

Last night before I went to bed, I applied online for a nursing job. I know on my last blog I said that I was going to wait for the teaching job to appear. I still am. I have to wait until I know something is there before I full fledge take the nursing thing. BUT, I feel like I need to do something.

I could be making about 3ooo a month for the next 2 months with the nursing thing. Why not do it? Well, like I said in the last blog there are several reasons. But, isn't the time for complaining over? Isn't the time for doing now?

I think that I have to put my own personal interests behind me and move forward and know that I am making the right decision. I don't completely feel wrong about it. I mean, just going for the interview can't be all that terrible. My husband has got to feel good that I am at least moving one of us forward.

The thing is.... The MARKET IS GOING TO TURN. THE MARKET ALWAYS TURNS. And when it does, his business will be doing so great. And when he gets back on track, hopefully he will get all that goofy debt paid off quickly. Then, we can move on. We would love to open up a franchise of some sort.

We have best friends and family with so many people that have done that very thing and have done so well with it. We are like the ones who haven't done it and I do believe we are missing the boat here. We have people who can give us advice, but we are too scared to take it.

Plus, there is that matter of the "Bad Habit". If he doesn't stop... Well, we will never get ahead. Maybe I am letting out too much information. But, it is helping me so much to do so. Everyone who has left comments has done so with so much love that I am overwhelmed. I have said it before.

I feel like I am at one of those camp meetings and you know when one person is talking and everyone comes to them in a circle and stands near them and then just hugs them. That is how I feel. And then the one with the problem begins to feel confident and feels like they can now conquer because they have their fellow campmates behind them.. Yeah, that is what you guys have done for me.

I am lucky in the respect that I can recognize that it really is love coming through. I really thought that there woud people who shunned me. I think that is my own lack of confidence. Or maybe that is who I used to be. I don't know. But, each time I log on and look in. There you all are and I swear, it feels like you are in the room with me. I FEEL you, and it is overwhelming.

Whatever we do, You will all be a part of it.

Hubby is still undercover and not moving around alot. I, however took my oldest to play tennis last night and it was wonderful. Great time. and then today took my babies to swim. It was good to get out into the sun. They swam while friends came to me and talked to me. I could feel the love from them and the encouragement from them as they talked. I did not talk about any of the details of the blog. That is saved for my private talks and those of you who are kind enough to take interest in my private life here.

These friends talk of superficial life on the outside. Yet, they still surround me and still hug me and still ask about my life. It still makes me smile. They offer me solutions to everyday small problems and trivia. I take it and I help them as I can. WE laugh about our children and our friends. The talk is light...

When they ask about my husband, I say he is well. Is that to trick them, or is that because I want to know that he will be well. Because I do know that. I do know that this will pass. Just as It did for me. I know this with all that I am...

So, am I telling a white lie... Or am I telling the ultimate truth.....?