Please LISTEN...

I put 5 dollars in today toward the big goal. What is interesting about that, is that I haven't really put in any money in a few days. I lost site of putting money in for a while. I lost site of it. You know why..... I do, I do... I was Complaining. I was so focused on the debt that I really wasn't focused on the goal.

So, there. I am going to have to get myself refocused again. And I think I am beginning to focus too much on how I am going to achieve this. And the absolute truth of the matter is that I have no idea how. I do beleve that each of us are part of a dynamic system. And that each of us has a dynamic gift. I do believe that I have a gift that I can offer. I am waiting to remember what mine is. I am waiting to see what my destiny is.

But, here is what I also know. It is not going to walk up to my door and hand me an envelope and say, with a cute Elvis Costume on "Here, Lil' Momma, Here's your destiny. God sent me Special Delivery, jus' for you...." And then I get to watch him gyrate back into the heavens. Whereas I don't really think that is true, I do have to admit that I wouldn't doubt that completely either.

I am so open-minded these days, that I would believe anything. I am not being competely sarcastic in that statement.

What I really do know that it is not necessary for me to just sit and wait on my destiny or for my gift to appear. I know that I must do all that I can with where I am and with who I am with every moment. I must act accordingly every moment with success in mind each moment. And sometimes that is so hard to do.

A great example was given to me last night. It was so small that I almost missed it. My young son, who is nine came in from playing with the neighborhood kids. He walked past my husband and I, who were sitting in our den. Cole, our son, said not a word, but went into the hearth room and starting watching TV. I asked what was the matter. He yelled back to us, "I Quit!" I told him to come in the room with us...

When he did he told us that he didn't like the way that they were playing and that he just said that he quit. Well, his father jumped on him about it saying, "You are going to have to stop acting like such a baby. All the kids in the neighborhood say that you act like that and they are not going to want to play with you."

At that statement from his father, Cole's face changed dramactically from mad to instantly sad and white, and I could tell that a nerve had been struck. You know the one that is struck when someone has really hurt your feelings and your are not sure why. I also knew that my husband has just gone too far.

I knew that this was not true. I knew that my husband was listening to something that one parent had sad about my son and it was quite biased. I could understand that parent's point of view as well, but it certainly wasn't the sentiment of the entire neighborhood, for Cole had so many visitors every day to our house. And now, he had just been made to think that they all did not like to play with him because his father, his hero, had just told him so.

Well, after his father told him that, Cole left the room and went to his bed and got under the covers and cried. I went to him and asked him if he was alright. He said nothing. I asked again. He said nothing. One more time and this time, he said quietly, "Nobody will listen to me." I said, "I will listen."

He said, "The reason I quit was because I wanted to be the receiver in the football game and I told them that. They said that I could. Then someone else's dad was throwing the ball. He wouldn't throw it to me. Then, one of the other kids said, 'Cole, we really don't need you anyway'... So, I just sat down on the curb. They weren't paying any attention to me. So, I quit"

Now, that made sense. If my husband and I had gotten the whole story instead of just making him feel small on the front end, his feelings could have been spared...but instead...a small child was made to feel weak at the hand of his parents...

How many times does that happen over such insignificant instances. And how many times can they be avoided. I was so glad that Cole had the nerve to speak up to me and say "You didn't listen". I don't think that we as parents have the right to make our kids do everything that we say just because we say so. We don't know everything. We should make our decisions after knowing all the facts.

The night ended with my son curled up in his father's lap crying and his father stroking his hair. Yeah, that same father, my TONY, who is being this man that I hardly know. He is wonderful and awesome. Better than before.

This is not to say that Cole did get off the hook completely. He was told how important it is to stick with a game once started, but he was able to give his entire side of the story like a human being, not like a child who is scared to talk to a parent .

To continue the story a bit, I went to the store today and there was an elderly man just standing there holding a basket of groceries. Just standing there. It is 95 degrees outside the store. And when I walked passed him, he caught my eye. He wouldn't let me look away.. You know the look? So, I said hello... And he said...." You think it will snow?"

HUH? What was that? I almost walked away... but I didn't.. You know why. Because my son had taught me a lesson the night before... to listen. People have something to say. (I am telling the truth, that is why I stayed)

"You think it will snow?" he said it again.
I said, "Why do you say that?"
He said, "Because I saw it snow this time of year in 1945"
I said, "Really, where"
He said, "The Artic Circle-- I was in the Army--it was 33 degrees below 0
I said, " I am fascinated"
He said, "It was so cold that we couldn't even turn the engines off or take clothes off because we would freeze to death or the planes would freeze up."
I said, "That is one of the most interesting stories that I have heard in a long time"
He said, "Imagine living it. And you kow what, most people won't take the time to listen, or they think I am crazy when I start taking about it."
I said, "I don't think you are crazy. I think you a hero. And I think I am blessed to have met you today. Would you be too embarrassed to give me a hug right here in Kroger?"

And that he did. And it made my day.

All that happened because I screwed up listening to my son. What great lessons our children have for us. Everyone wants to be listened to. I know that I do. It is so frustrating to be trying to get your point across, isn't it? I have tried to make a resolution to let other people talk more than I do and ask as many questions of them when they are done talking to be sure that I understand what it is that they are trying to tell me.

I'll never forget the man on Aisle 7 in Kroger who almost froze in the Artic Circle... what a hero...