Well, well, well. It has been almost a year since I have written on this post. I am really glad that the powers that be here at blogger have not decided to kick my sorry writing tail end off. That would be just awful, since there are some half decent pity parties on here.
But, I do have to say... I have reason to be pitying myself. Since I was last on here, my life has taken a completely different spin. I am in a different home... sans husband. Shockingly, my husband and I have separated. I guess that is what happens when there are three folks in a marraige.
I reread over the posts a few months out from before I quit writing. Surely to God I knew that we were going to end. I just had all this faith in us. I guess I just has less faith in the powers of, what? hmmmmm.... is it evil?
I just don't know. I don't think that he is evil. I just know that Tony doesn't love me. And for those of you that don't really follow too closely, Tony is my husband. And, indeed, he is still my husband. He left December 29 of 2009. Now, here it is mid June. So, he's been gone half a year. It feels like half my life.
I asked him to leave, so I don't know what I am so wishy-washy about. I kicked him out like an old shoe. Well, maybe not an old shoe, because sometimes shoes have another half. In his case, there was not another half. Or, if there was... it's sure as Hell wasn't me. There was that redhead Suzy Lou Hoo, (or so indicates that upturned nose of hers). I just couldn't take it anymore.
And there are so many variables here, that I am not sure that I can get into any of them in this one post. I am having to digest them one by one. So, it seems only fair that I take this on baby step at a timne. And tonight, all I can focus on is the fact that he is gone,,. not the reasons behind it,
And the problem is,.. only he is gone. All reminders of him... Alive and Kickin' all aound my house.
4 comments:
Hello! By chance I read an old blog post of mine and there were two comments from you - and I realised I haven't seen you around for a while. I just read your post. I hope you are feeling strong and loved today and that your life changes are bringing you to a truer place.
Hi K.C.
Missing you here on blogger and hoping you're ok!! Take care, Jo~
Same as Elspeth, I went back on an old post where you commented and read your recent post. I can see you're a strong person, these things just need time to heal the wounds up, everything will be fine in the end, though! Good luck!
I guess this is one of the reasons it is called life; it is filled with uncertainties. Mine hasn't been different either. But as we navigate the bumps and drift helplessly on the sea of life, let's not get too engrossed with trying to decipher life that we forget how to live. Hold on to those things, those moments - however fleeting, that makes you happy. FOREVER is a long time to be sad.
Find meaning but in all your findings, find happiness.
Stay afloat
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