Geez... It seems like it has been forever since I have been here. I know that it has been such the forefront of your mind wondering where I have been, huh?
What really surprises me and really actually makes me feel good is that I actually now have a really decent handle on what is going on with my life. It hasn't been that way for quite some time. I was so very blessed to be able to stay home with my children. But, the thing is... once they were in school... I was home alone. And as wonderful as it is to be home by myself... and to be that housewife who has the ability to shop and have manicures and decorate all day.. Yeah, well, that was a bit overrated to me.
I got lost in it a bit. I lost myself somewhere in that. I lost my purpose in that. I found myself going back to bed after my children went to school. I found myself thinking that I would "get to it" in a little while. And then I just never did "get to it". I gained weight and I lost my mind. I found myself thinking so much about how I wished that I was part of the outside world, whatever that is.
And everyone on the outside world wished that they were in my world. Isn't it funny how everyone wishes that? So many people wanting what the other folks have. Maybe they should crawl into their world a bit and take a closer look to be sure...
That is why I am really looking at this whole experience as a journey...I have said so many times that this is not about the money. I keep stressing that. I know for a fact that the money cannot buy the happiness.
Going back and forth and back and forth... should I say it? should I tell it? Hmmm... Just got the teaching job and life is so good for me right now and I know that, but am I not on this journey to examine all sides of what I see?...
Am I not blogging to examine what I experience in my life?... I think that I am. My fingers are typing, and each stroke is demanding that I go ahead with the story.
You know, we read fiction and there is so much out there that seems so "out there". And we read many stories that are "adapted" from true life... but this week, I was with a family that experienced true life in a way that puts adaptation to shame.
I want to go down that road that leads to a million dollars... I want to be one of those. I have mentioned before that my very first friend on this planet is now a millionaire. He is a super guy. I went to his 4th of July party yesterday. There were fireworks and a big colorful water slide and BBQ. He was the perfect host in his summer home. Who wouldn't want to be him?
At that party was another long time friend of 40 years. He is a local board member elect in the city. Super great guy. Everyone loves him, and his wife. He has been elected unanimously over and over because he really is that super guy that would give you the world if he could. Who wouldn't want to be him?
We were missing one person at the party though. There was a young 17 year old boy missing, Drew. He is the local senior football player at the high school with the world in front of him. All-American guy. Super guy.. and that's the truth. Who wouldn't want to be him?
To pull it all together... the party with the fireworks yesterday had the red, white and blue. It had the children and it had all the guests. But, it had this underlying theme of sadness. For the truth that everyone knew, but no one was discussing, just for a few hours, was that the All-American football player had had both of his legs cut off in a backhoe accident last week.
This had occurred while working on my friends land that he bought with all of his money. He had given young Drew a job on his land because of his uncle, who we had all known all our lives. And now, life has now changed forever for so many people.
So, now, nobody wants to be in any of those positions.
I had sworn that I was not going to write of sadness or anger any more, but it seemed wrong for me to ignore so many people that I am so close to. Even though no one reading this knows those who are involved. I feel like in so many ways, you know me.
I feel like screaming to the top of my lungs right now. This very incident is why I am on this journey. I can do nothing for Drew with a small amount, but with a large amount, I could get him the medical attention he will need.
But, even then...even then... Just writing aloud for the sake of it... when he recovers enough... if I had it to do it... maybe I could convince Drew to write his memoirs....for truly this is much more than most people will ever have to deal with EVER... he could inspire millions of people all over the world. He could inspire himself..
I am, like I said, just writing aloud, for I know how many people I have helped... not here on this blog, but in my on corner of the world... with the ordeals that I have encountered because so few people have been through them.
So, it seems like the O'Daniel and the Neal family are the ones that they flock to for emotional advice...
Hmmmm... yeah, we those lucky ones that got to encounter all the really tough stuff. I think maybe I will start an advice column.
But, it seems like Drew and his family, they may get to take top honors for a while. This will be a tough one. You never know what a moment is going to hold. Trying to wrap my mind around this one....17 and no legs.... where do you go with that one? With no warning coming to you?
Hmmm....Yes, my life is good right now... and is it fair to remember that? I guess that is what I am trying to figure out. Does it even do Drew any good for me to sit and focus on his tragedy?
Shouldn't I focus on the recovery side of this? I have been sitting here for 5 minutes trying to think of what to write and this is all new to me.
I do know, and I do KNOW that our human spirit is so much more than our flesh. But, will Drew know that? Surely, it will come to him. He will have to turn within in order to get through this, and from my own experience, that is where I found mine, and Jesus, it was good and it was powerful.
That is what will get him through if he has the strength to ask. I am asking right now for that strength for him. Again, not getting religious, just being factual.
OK....I may erase all of this, but I am thinking maybe not. Would seem wrong. He deserves at least this much. Please when you read this, don't sympathize for him...visualize his healing...I know what you all have done for me....I am back on track and I KNOW it is because of the love sent in from around the world...
I am getting sappy... Drew doesn't deserve sappy.... he plays football, not water ballet....
18 comments:
You're back with a bang...very good introspection...
P.S : I've updated my blog too...chk that out
Welcome back .. I hope you find answers .. please share them if you do .. .we;re all out here looking
:-Daryl
I'm so sorry... the medical field has come a long way in being able to help those that are in Drew's position. God bless him. I'll include Drew in my prayers, Kayce!
KC...Talk about inspiring. Oh my goodness....you are inside out on your postings...I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. You are the greatest blessing I just know...to those around you and to those like me who are so fortunate to meet you. My goodness....I am thinking long and hard about that 17 year old's life now...poor guy. I have a 17 yearold too. It is true...often we want to walk in other's footsteps...we simply have NO idea.
I too am on my own personal journey...have been realizing the joy of each moment for most of my life....it is truly a wonderous time even in the midst of moment by moment trials, eh? The bigger picture...harder to get in touch with when those moments are so poignant. Anyway...listen...I have had to go private so email me on my profile okay so that I can invite you there...I can only invite you via email.
That kid is going to need the strength of the world and some intense determination. God bless him, hope he can learn from some of the Iraq double amputees - nothing is impossible - but nothing is easy either. Please tell him that everyone is praying to give him strength.
I'm so sorry to hear about Drew. Yes, it's very easy to think we want to switch places with someone else, and then again, we don't know what God has in store for that person. The one thing we can do is to be the best "I" we can be. We have to fill our own shoes completely.
I hope the boy can get the help (physical and emotional) that he needs. I'm sure he's going to go through a bout of protracted anger. Be there for him. Most people can throw money at a situation, but very few will throw themselves personally at it.
I suspect you can.
Peace - D
k.c.
Sad story but in turn very insightful as well.
Drew with God's help will write his own story
after he has set some goals in his life. Right now is
to heal both mind and body and then set out to explore life. He will find things we never thought of looking for. I think his future is bright even though the lights have gone out for an instant.
Thanks for being honest and true to yourself and to everyone else like Drew. It's a wonderful thing you do for the rest of us.
This is a terrible tragedy, and I will say a prayer for Drew. He will need prayers, and love, and support, and encouragement if he is to prevent this from destroying his whole life. I hope that there will be healing, now and in the months and years to come. Hold fast to life, Drew!
Hi Kayce ~~ My first visit here has been a real eye-opener. I love your aim in life and that you have a new teaching job. Good for you and best of luck. I will say a prayer for young Drew, what a dreadful thing to happen to him so early in his life.There have been wonderful advances in medical prostheses and eventually he could be fitted with prosthetic legs.
The main thing is to keep his spirits up and not let him give up on his life. It is changed, but it's not over. It was very nice to
meet you and I hope you will visit again. Take care, Cheers, Merle.
Very sad news about Drew & I hope all goes ok & he finds the strength to deal with things in a postive way. Never easy though...
Hi Kayce,
This is so very sad, Drew will need all the support and love of family and friends around him which will be an imprortant part of his recovery...plus the good work on the medical side of things..
Kayce your posts really do make me and I am sure many others stop and think about things, and realise that though we all may at some point be going through a hard time in our life's, there is always others suffering so much more..
Yet again a brilliant post and my thought are with Drew and his family...:-D
He'll get thought it... somehow he and his family will find the strength. We neer know how strong we really are until we are tested.
On a lighter note - congratulations on the 5th grade position! I love 5th graders; so full of spunk and curiousity yet lacking the raging hormones. Perhaps our classes could correspond a couple of times?
Sorry Kayce, I just realized I was signed in under my husbands name yesterday, that has to be worth a laugh right? I'm sure you're wondering who George is...LOL.
Wow Kayce...it would be easier wouldn't it, not to share the hard things in life. But that's a show called Father Knows Best or Leave It To Beaver.
I sat at the foot of his bed, his leg had been amputated...soon it would be his other leg. How would my Grandfather ever recover? The pain, what I witnessed will never leave my mind until the day I pass.
It was late when I received the call...crazy men, riding their toys, a snowmobile. Joe had hit a tree, he was in his 20's, in critical condition barely alive, they had amputated one leg and wanted to do a tracheotomy, he was a talented singer...I sat at the foot of his bed, in tears and prayer...why Lord, why? Again, I will never forget.
Our lists can go on. Life, it's many emotions and challenges, we are supposed to share, scream, cry.
Thank you for sharing Kayce, I have a purpose to pray right now don't I. To pray without ceasing.
You need not ask. My 'prayers' were going out before I finished the post.
I almost didn't return your visit. I saw your blog title and thought 'Oh No another earn-money-on-line scam site'. But simple manners dictated I should 'repay' the nice comment you made regardless of my feelings. So glad you proved my suspicions wrong.
Kayce, none of us know why terrible things happen..My theory in life and it is the only way I can make sense of all this stuff..We chose our destiny..Why are some people healed from cancer and others not? Again, the only answer, for me, their job wasn't done..When we really believe and have faith, that is the only thing that gets us through terrible things..As I say, these are my thoughts and the only way I can reason things out. Otherwise, nothing makes sense..war, sickness, death,etc..
Hi thanks for visiting my blog.
I was temporarily (thank goodness) paralysed years ago. Having a big long term goal helped me through physio each day. My goal was to climb Machu Piccu in Peru. I never did it once I was able to, but just having that goal helped me focus on improving. I read about the place and saw pictures and that spurred me on.
From what you've said about Drew, he will be an amputee. Even amputees can cross mountains in jungles- "Beyond Boundaries" on BBC TV showed that anything is possible. He is used to having physical challenges and this is going to be his biggest yet.
My other thought is that perhaps his life was meant to go in a different direction. A man I knew was out in Africa shortly after getting married to his American nurse wife in the 1950/60s. An illness caught out there left him in a wheelchair. Instead of doing the missionary work they planned, he ended up co-ordinating things for most of Africa from here in England for a charity.
I think it comes down to accepting new challenges and being able to adapt. Sorry no pearls -just obvious stuff.
Best Wishes,
Melanie
I don't think Drew would want you to waste your life away, thinking of his tragedy. I think he would want you to go on, and live life. Because, eventually, he will, too.
Accidents like that happen. But life goes on around them, and thats one lesson that has to be learned the hard way.
One of my favorite songs of all time says "Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone." He wont like it, for a very long time. But, before you know it, he will adjust.
If we spend all of our time focused on everyone elses sadness, sometimes we forget to celebrate with them in their triumphs. Never forget that. And to celebrate in your own triumphs as well. Don't ever waste your life away on the sadness, most importaintly when you can't do anything. Nothing would have prevented this boy from having this accident. Or the people in Africa from living a live of poverty. Or 90% of the other crap going on in the world. Your thing to help will be shown to you in time. Until then, celebrate more then you mourn. There is a place for both.
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